Mojo Priest reviewed

You would think I learn my lesson on not listening to another Steven Seagal album after his first one had a spectacularly bad half which you can see here.  But I'm a bit hard to teach and I do what I want!  Also, I was told that his second album was going to be an all-blues affair which is good since the only blues song on Crystal Caves was one of the best songs on that album.  And that means we don't have to hear Seagal breaking reggae's neck since those songs suck and furthermore, we don't have to listen to Lady Saw break our ears neck with her horrible singing.  So with that said, let's protect our necks with Mojo Priest.

1.  Somewhere in Between(***/****) -This song gets off to a good start with a blistering guitar lick.  Then it slows down with Seagal singing about race shouldn't matter and Seagal is better than you since he's somewhere in between.  It's a good song with some nice guitar work by Seagal but not one that's going to stick with you.

2.  Love Doctor(***/****) - It's a Steven Seagal song and Seagal's barely in it...but this time, it's not horrible but I digress!  Some girl needs some loving and only Seagal can heal her by breaking her neck...with his penis.  It has a good funky beat but his guest star that takes up half the song has some pretty good lines and has a good voice.  It's another good song that survives a guest star unlike his last album.

3.  Dark Angel(***/****) -This is yet another good song from Seagal that has a great bass riff and nice bluesy piano playing.  It's about how you shouldn't fear death and dying is a part of life since we're all going to die by Seagal's neck-breaking hands anyways.  But I did notice something strange, the organ riff in the chorus sounds exactly the same as the organ riff in Eric Clapton's cover of "I Shot the Sheriff".  It's just something weird I noticed, it's still a good song.

4.  Gunfire in a Juke Joint(***1/2/****) -Finally, a song that isn't merely good on the album.  It starts out with a truck-driving blues riff and then Seagal starts singing.  Somebody has done him wrong and now he's going to get revenge but he has to choose between loving his woman and breaking necks.  It's a nice piece of pure blues playing but that's about it.

5.  My Time is Numbered(***/****) -This is pretty much "Dark Angel" but more stripped down and featuring good guitar work...that's all that needs to be said.

6.  Alligator Ass(***1/2/****) -I'm kind of disappointed with this song.  I thought it was going to be the wacky hijinks of Seagal walking into a restaurant, ordering chicken but getting some alligator ass instead putting him in a neck-breaking rage.  Instead it's about the duality of religion and something like that.  However, it's still a great piece of blues work and Seagal does his best singing here.

7.  BBQ(***/****) -Seagal is hungry...for some cheating on his woman!  That's about it even though the music is once again, good. 

8.  Hoochie Koochie Man(***/****) -It's the stereotypical blues song with Seagal singing some words and then the music going DUN-DUN-DA-DUN!  And do you know why?  Because it's actually a cover of Muddy Waters version of the song.  And now it's Seagal-ified into something unholy and beastly....and still pretty good.  Everybody is at the top of their game and the organ riff in the middle is pretty chilling.

9.  Talk to My Ass(***/****) -Another good song even though a song called "Talk to My Ass" by Steven Seagal should be a lot more badass and awesome that it actually is.

10. Dust My Broom(***/****) -Read the review to "Talk to my Ass" and it's the same thing.

11. Slow Boat to China(***1/2/****) -It's eight and a half minutes of awesome.  The music has a nice dreamy quality to it.  The lyrics speak of love and lost instead of breaking your neck and fighting.  There isn't anything too flashy in this one but this doesn't require any flashiness at all.

12. She Dat Pretty(**1/2/****) -Seagal is speaking ebonics man....and this time, not even the music can save it despite it trying it's best.

13. Red Rooster(**/****) -With the other songs on the album, Seagal was playing the blues and doing a  good job on it.  This song has Seagal playing the blues while using equipment from the 1930's where everything is all fuzzy and it all sounds like it was recorded, played and mixed underwater.  I'm sure it was a conscious decision but it doesn't make it a good one.

14. Shake(***/****) -This sounds like something Bo Diddley may have done....and that means it should come as no surprise that Bo Diddley guests on this track.  It also has Seagal being in the background but when you compete with Bo Diddley you will never win.  Anyways, it's yet another good blues song.

15. Untitled(???/****) -There are three untitled tracks but since they're all a minute and a half long, I'm treating them as one track.  It's pretty much snippets from other guys doing the blues and as such it's hard to review and hard to talk about.  It's there, it's cute and that's all.

I have good news and bad news.  The good news is that this album is a good blues album with great music.  The bad news is that it's not very entertaining since it's all quality blues aside from a couple wrong turns near the end.  That also means there's not much to say about the tracks or even little to make fun of.  Yeah it's good but sometimes it doesn't make for an entertaining thing.