Hey guys, remember my very first review which was Judas Priest: The Essential Collection and how I reviewed every song with its own rating? And do you remember when I said I would never do it again....well, I lied. Granted, the one year anniversary is close so why not honor my very first blog with the extreme opposite of Judas Priest, Aqua. You know, that band with that hit song that was the bane of my college roommates existence for a few months. Well I found this album and go it for a buck! So without further delay, let us revive the star system as I dig through every track of Aqua's first album, Aquarium.
Happy Boys & Girls(***/****) - The first track of the album is the most important song you have on the album, especially the debut album. It represents what the sound will be like and how things will progress from there. In this case, the Aqua formula is present with bouncy beats, the vocal interplay with Chick and Bald Guy(You don't know their names so I won't put them here) and a catchy chorus. It may be vapid and a bit shallow but it's good danceable fun and a solid kick off to the album.
My Oh My(***/****) - The second song is both similar sounding and different sounding from "Happy Boys & Girls" for it follows the same path but with some twists at the start. It starts off with some horse running sound effects and then some glockenspiel-like keyboard kicks things off. After that, it follows what we expect of Aqua with good beats & fun. However, this song does kinda need the music video for it to be really awesome since there's pirates and stuff in it. Oh well.
Barbie Girl(***1/2/****) - I had my doubts on how well this song has held up since I tortured my roommates with it back in college...I swear I'm straight! However, this song is still as awesome now as it was during the college days. While "My Oh My" started to show that the band was willing to experiment with some other sounds it quickly went back to the nice beats of "Happy Boys & Girls", this song was what made it all make sense. The vocal interplay with Chick and Bald Guy really take this song to another, hilarious level and the vapid but pretty beats fit every Barbie doll ever made....doctor my ass. Is it the best song they made? No. Is it the best song on the album? No as we'll find out but it's easily in the top 5 of Aqua's best.
Good Morning Sunshine(**/****) - I will give it this song credit for it's actually organic-sounding. The piano sounds like a real piano, there's some guitars and the drum beat could be replicated by humans. The first couple minutes of the song are pleasant even if it is instantly forgettable with a weak chorus. I would even almost like it but they made one fatal mistake. Bald Guy raps. Now you're thinking, "But Bald Guy has always been on the album thus far" and you're right. However, it was always a duet and not an obligatory guest spot but it is now. And I wouldn't even be so hard on it if it wasn't so horrible! It's like Vanilla Ice posturing gone horribly wrong. The song never recovers and that's a shame for there's good stuff in there, just nothing good enough to overcome that.
Doctor Jones(**1/2/****) - Well, this song does erase "Good Morning Sunshine's" stink from our ears and memories and I have to give it points for that. However, this song is very obvious filler. The verses are weak, it relies to heavily on the beat which isn't that good and it's pretty much as forgettable as "Sunshine". But, the vocal melodies are quite good and Bald Guy's "Wake up now!" is pretty damn awesome. Don't get me wrong, it's still alright just not good.
Heat of the Night(*1/2/****) - This song flat out sucks! It's never a good sign when you start off with the chorus sung in one of the most child-like sing-songingly grating way possible. Then somebody had the idea to make Bald Guy say things in a sexy-way. That voice used in that manner will dry up any woman, I guarantee you that you will never get laid to that song...well, less chances than a normal Aqua song. The worst thing is that the music has a decent Latino flavor to it but this song just grates at me and makes me angry with rage!
Be a Man(***/****) - Finally we get a song I like again! This song is the album's first successful ballad(or first if you want to play the Discontinuity trope against Good Morning Sunshine). It does have that good-old fashioned organic sound that sounds really sincere but the lyrics do have an added punch to them when it's not really about love, but just waiting for there man to step up and losing patience with it. It's a good song with decent lyrics but just a tad on the weak side.
Lollipop (Candyman)(***1/2/****) - This song is pretty much the Aqua formula all over again but holy crap is it fun! Holy crap is it danceable! Holy crap is it catchy as all hell! And holy crap is it awesomely ridiculous! The beats are just sick with a fast, devil-may-care attitude as the lyrics are pretty much are about candy...If You Know What I Mean. The best part of this song is the incredibly sick vocal interplay between Chick and Bald Guy, it's totally awesome. It may not be the deepest song but its their funnest.
Roses are Red(***/****) - After the manic energy of Lollipop, this is a nice come down but that doesn't mean it's a ballad. It's just not as fast and insane but it's still a good song. The beat is standard Europop but it is performed well and the vocal interplay between the singers is good. Alright, it's basically just as filler-y as "Doctor Jones" but it is a lot more interesting and a lot better than that.
Turn Back Time(****/****) - Behold my favorite Aqua song ever. It's a downbeat, mature song about past regrets that you're unable to undo. The piano beat underscores the pessimistic tones of the song while the drum and synth beat are in the background just enough to not be jarring. However, the real star of this song is Chick's voice who encapsulates all the hopelessness and despair of whatever choices affected her in the past. Even the breakdown has that downer feeling to it. This is easily their most mature work and it was a sign of things to come on their second album.
Calling You(**/****) - What a way to end the album with the blandest song on there...it's still better than "Heat of the Night" though. It is the very epitome of background noise as you try your hardest to get into the song but you just can't. The beat is standard albeit high-energy, the lyrics are so transparent that they're invisible and quite frankly, it's kinda boring. It's a bad closer.
On the whole, this is an alright album with moments of brilliance. It's nothing really special outside of the Europop scene.
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