Mike Nelson's Death Rat reviewed

I will say this first and foremost, I like Mike Nelson. I'm a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I love the Megacheese book that he wrote(without it I will never gave Road House a chance) and I'm sure Rifftrax is good, I just haven't actually purchased anything from there. So when I first about his Death Rat novel I was intrigued and saw it in a few places but I didn't buy it and eventually I forgot about it. Then a couple weeks ago I saw it on my local library's bookstore for a buck. I bought it and then I eventually got around to reading it.

So what would you expect from a book titled Death Rat. You would think a huge rat with laser-vision and massive destruction. Of course you're not going to get it from Nelson, it's too awesome for him to write. Instead it's about some old history writer though some WACKY events is working fast-food. In desperation, he decides to write Death Rat, a book about man vs. a 6-foot tall rat! He tries to sell it but he's too old to actually do so, so he finds out that his fast-food co-worker is an actor and looks the part of somebody rugged and manly. So the actor sells the book...but he forgets to mention that part where the book was FICTION. So now there's a cover-up involving a small-town, Prince...I mean King Leo, some egomanical homespun writer out for revenge, and former govenor Jesse Ventura, I mean current govenor Bart Herzog.

So just because something is different from what I expected doesn't mean it's bad. I'm not one of those people that has to have everything conform to my expectations. But this book is bad in other ways. I think the main problem is that while Nelson is great at making fun of things that already exist, here he's creating something and then making fun of it. It just smacks of desperation and pretty much saying "Look how wacky things are. Look, see it's wacky!". It just doesn't feel right or have a good flow to it. Even when the plot and the characters are come together, it never feels like they are gelling together in any meaningful way.

But it's biggest sin is that it's extremely forgettable. I can tell you the bare essentials of the plot and the fact that I did laugh at somethings, I can't tell you what exactly happened or what I did laugh at. In fact, if you put a gun to my head and tell me exactly what happened, my brain and skull fragments would be on the floor so you can make a stew out my brains & necklaces with my skull fragments to give to people you deemed to be worthy. This book is kinda like cotton candy, it's airy, trivial and it doesn't even taste that good but it's good enough for you finish, if only out of obligation.

But nearing the end of the book, something hit me about Death Rat. It seems to be more of a overly descriptive script than a novel. I do believe it would work better as a movie or maybe a mini-series. The biggest flaws in the novel, the desperation of wackiness, wouldn't be apparent and some actors could give the dialogue a real kick. I mean it's good to support people you like but this isn't something that should be supported. And even though I don't really hate Death Rat, just dislike it quite a bit, stick with Hollywood's Megacheese or Rifftrax or the DVD releases of MST3K.

4/10