See the guy above? You know who he is? Of course that's Tim Burton, former extraordinary director. He directed such awesome movies like Batman, Batman Returns, Beetlejuice, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure....you know what, every movie he did up to and including Sleepy Hollow is awesome. Then the 90's ended and Tim Burton kinda forgot how to make good movies, granted a couple were almost good. So why have I lost faith in him, let's break down his film output since Sleepy Hollow.
Planet of the Apes - It's a remake of a 60's classic that starred pompous actor extraordinaire Charlton Heston so hope was small that this was good. Well it's not I actually almost liked it. The special effects were great and the apes makeup is pretty good. The humans are what kills it. Mark Walhberg is pretty flat and the ending isn't that good. Sure it's faithful more faithful to the book than the Heston one but it doesn't work on screen. But then again this one we kind of should have expected to not be very good. I didn't expect it to be a start of a trend though.
Big Fish - This movie was supposed to be an apology for Planet of the Apes and a lot of people accepted it. Those people are idiots and I found this to be an even bigger insult than Planet of the Apes. I get it's supposed be like a fairy-tale and there's fantastical elements & whatnot. But I thought fairy-tales weren't boring. I thought they weren't so poorly acted with horrible accents that only hillbilly hicks would use, besides Steve Buscemi who was awesome. I can't even fathom how people looked past the horrible acting because the story isn't that sweet. Albert Finney is an ass and I think he did deserve to die! My hatred of this movie knows little bounds.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Alright, this was the real apology after the predictable dissapointment of Planet of the Apes and the unpredicatble hatred of Big Fish. Sure it's another remake but a remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is much closer to Burton's sensibilities than Planet of the Apes. Plus Johnny Depp is back with Burton, the first time since Sleepy Hollow which was supposed to be awesome! It sounded so awesome and the first trailer hit and I should've worried right there when I basically forced myself to like it cause I wanted to believe that a Depp/Burton movie would be a return to form. Then I finally saw the movie and it was not meant to be. Once again I almost liked it if it wasn't for those damn Oompa Loompas or that damn Deep Roy. Sure what he did was impressive but he's annoying and not very memorable. Then there's the songs; the songs were weak in the book and, what a surprise, they suck here. So my hopes of a good Tim Burton movie are fading at this point.
Corpse Bride - Alright, it's stop-motion, something that gave us Nightmare Before Christmas. This time, Burton is going to direct and instead of write & produce. Also, Johnny Depp is back again. What wonders will he give us when he's in control? It turns out I wonder if Nightmare Before Christmas would've been this lame with Burton directing. This just cries out lame in every regard, nothing pops. I barely remember this that's how slight it is. Lastly, the songs suck like they did in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Sweeney Todd - This is what made me lose all faith in Tim Burton. First I was a bit skeptical cause once again Johnny Depp was back again but it didn't mean too much with the dissapointments of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory & Corpse Bride. Then I heard it was a musical but that wasn't a deal breaker. I don't mind musicals but that means the songs would have to be great and judging from history it was going to be an uphill climb. It was a climb that Steven Sodeihm couldn't do when he wrote Sweeney Todd and it was a climb that Burton couldn't do when he made it. So if the songs suck in a real musical than that's it, the movie can't be good and it's not.
So what can Tim Burton do to reverse this trend? Easy, stop working with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter(she's actually been in all the movies above, all of them. I cared as much as she cares about not being lazy in Burton movies...which is little) & stop the singing! Then I could look forward to your movies again.
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