The Midnight Write - Issue #10: Strength in Sex

As I've gotten older there are certain taboos I've gently let go. Not trusting strangers. Allow myself mistakes. Going out even if I want to stay in. These seem trivial, but to an introvert, they can be huge obstacles.

But let's talk about something else. Something that, in our society, is heavily taboo.

Oh yes, let's talk about sex.

Now before you move onto the next web page of your day, hear me out. It's that uncomfortable feeling in your stomach I'm talking about. This isn't about porn, pills, or one night stands. But conversation between not only partners, but people you encounter with every day. I'm not saying you should be having sexual discussions with everyone, but you shouldn't be afraid to have them, period. People have questions and there are answers.

What kinds of questions you ask?

Depends on the person of course. But this blogs isn't about questions (sorry for keep coming off track here). Discussion. That is the issue. Why are we afraid? Cause that's how we're programed. Blame society, blame religion, you can blame anything you want but as human beings, American, Canadian, British, Russian, whatever, we have free will to discuss what we want with whomever.

Back on track. Sex. I've been more open about it in the last few years thanks to a previous polyamarous relationship (look it up) but sadly that relationship ended, and there are few people I Can talk to about such things seriously, or go into detail because it's "awkward".

And why should it feel awkward? Upbringing, sure. But it's personal too, an extension of yourself. Perhaps we feel inadequate. We're inexperienced, or don't function "correctly" like mainstream media portrays. I don't function "normally" either. I'm afraid to commit to one person, always have, because what I'm afraid I'll miss.

Now don't get me wrong, this debate can go many ways. In the end it's personal preference. But when I trust in someone, I'll trust in them until they give me a reason not too. I want everything to be "discuss-able". We may not agree, and that's fine, but don't avoid the discussion because it makes you uncomfortable.

Break the wall, brick by brick. Start with your closest friends, then post on forums, or join interest groups. Have discussion, a panel, visit websites. Do something. There are people out there willing to have open discussion. There's BILLIONS of people on this planet. To us, that's infinite potential.

Perhaps there are times when it becomes TMI (too much information) and that's understandable. But don't draw the line before the sand.

I think if you wall yourself from people like that, you feel isolated, even if it's something as awkward as sex CAN be.

But it doesn't have to be.

I'm not saying walk up to a stranger and talk about your nether regions. I'm not talking about being obscene. And I'm not talking about educating teenagers (though it seems teens need more education anyway, but that's a separate discussion). Full grown adults can't talk about this stuff, so how do we expect our kids to know anything? Should we leave it to life experience? Let them figure it out on their own? I think parents should have a hand in ALL aspects of the child's life and shouldn't leave it to chance. I think we're seeing the backlash of this sterile kind of upbringing.

United, we rise. Divided. We fall. That moto applies almost everywhere. A weak link in a chain makes the chain weak. That can apply to a community or to the individual.

So I beg of you. Strengthen the chain of yourselves and of your community (I use community broadly here, apply it as you will) by discussion. You don't have to start with sex, but start somewhere. I use sex because it seems such a weird topic to debate over when young children are allowed to get a hold of video games that depict severe violence, rape, and murder.