My Top 5 Awesomely Bad movies

I thought that I would never make a list for the blog but I'm feeling that mood again. So this list is my favorite awesomely bad movies. Now what is an awesomely bad movie? It's a movie you know that sucks but you can't help to be entertained by it even though it's mostly for the wrong reasons. So I am going to honor my favorites out of the awesome crap. Now then, let's begin.

5. Street Fighter

Do I expect to catch hell for this? Probably, some people do claim this as one of the worst movies ever made but I say to those people...watch more movies! Anyways, Jean Claude Van-Damme is Guile and the laughs keep on coming! Almost everyone is either over-the-top or flat. Raul Julia is so over-the-top that he went into space...and then stayed there cause he died. There's the infamous scene where Van-Damme makes a convenient inspirational speech with a convenient placed podium that makes his soldiers support his attack on the Bison compound...conveniently. Anything Zangrief or Dee-Jay says is a stitch like "Quick, change the channel!" or "I should've stayed with Microsoft." As for the sequel, I haven't seen it but it has Taboo from the Black Eye Peas as Vega...so what do you think?

4. Johnny Mnemonic

This is a Cyberpunk movie starring Keanu Reeves, Ice-T, Dina Meyers, Henry Rollins and Dolph Lungdren...with some Japanese people along with Udo Kier where they basically suck. It also stars crappy writing, huge-ass plot holes and horrid acting. It would be horrible to watch if it wasn't so hilarious. Anything Reeves says is hilarious, whether it's what he says or how he says it, especially his rant about getting room service and a $10,000/day hooker. Dolph Lungdren as a cybernetic hit man with a heavy dose of religion is freakin' awesome. But...there is one legitimately good scene where Reeves surfs the internet of the future...in first person...in virtual reality...with gloves!

3. Road House

The third-greatest Patrick Swayze movie ever, only behind Ghost and Point Break is pretty much the most rootinest, tootinest bar-brawl movies ever. It's a world where one punch against one guy leads to destructive bar brawls that pretty much destroy everything. It's a word where woman are scantily clad...if they are clad. It's a world where massive explosions exist...but not that much. And it's a world where ripping out a guy's throat is king! Mike Nelson called it the cheesiest movie of all time...and he's pretty much right.

2. Hercules in New York

Arnold Schwarzenegger's first movie...and man does it show. But first off, I did see the version where Schwarzenegger wasn't dubbed. Yes, when this movie was first released in 1970 Arnold's voice was dubbed caused Arnold's accent cause it was hard to understand...apparently. Anyways, Arnold is Hercules cause we know that cause every other line he says is "But I am Hercules" who wants to go to the mortal world for some reason and there he teams up with a guy named Pretzie...cause he sells pretzels! The irony! Then he beats some people up, beats some people up as a wrestler, beats up a guy in a bear suit who's playing a bear and then finally beats up the mob. Some other Greek Gods appear for some reason but Arnold doesn't beat them up.

1. The Marine

This should come as no surprise...I mean really, I've talked about this a lot. It is the most explodiest movie ever made where everything exploded: cars, buildings, docks and a person spectacularly for a relatively long time. And that's the tip of the iceberg where a mook's backstory includes childhood molestation, when security guards attack, the most ridicolous car chase ever filmed, Robert Patrick and a command befitting a marine: "We're not going around them, WE'RE GOING THROUGH!" This movie is awesomely bad perfection.