Starfox Adventures reviewed

I'm embarking on another mini-arc, I'll be reviewing the Gamecube Starfox titles, this and Starfox Assault. Now both games have less than stellar reputations, especially Adventures but is the hate warranted? Well in Adventures case it was the horrible end-product of Executive Meddling, it was slated to be a stand-alone game with no connections to Starfox and it was supposed to be for the N64. Of course, things didn't work that way and so we have a Starfox game for better or worse.

Anyways the plot may take too long to actually get going. You start off as some blue fox chick Krystal, who's off avenging her parents(remember this, it won't get referenced again) helping out Dinosaur Planet for some reason, well because she's kind but for no real reason. She gets captured by General Scales and finally, you're playing as Fox. It's been years since the events of Starfox 64 and it shows, Great Fox is rusted and Falco left out of extreme boredom. You then get a mission to repair Dinosaur Planet cause it broke apart(it makes sense in context) and you do, being forced to ally with the annoying Prince Tricky and then having to rescue Krystal with only Krystal's staff, that you find, as a weapon.

The main gameplay looks familiar, real damn familiar. Yeah, it's pretty much the same system that any of the 3-D Zelda's use. I'm not knocking the system cause it's an awesome and easy-to-use system but is it really Fox's system? This leads to people's biggest complaint about this game, Fox doesn't belong here. He belongs in space blowing things up saving Slippy's butt, being told to do a barrel roll by Peppy and nurturing his rivalry with Falco, not on the ground. But, I will be the first to admit that Fox solving a problem on the ground is a good one. It does show a new side to Fox but it's so whiny that we almost wished we didn't know what he can do on the ground. Then the flying missions are horrible, yes the missions that are Starfox's bread and butter are too short and not fun. Then you also have to collect gold rings for some stupid, illogical reason about opening a force-field but you never know how it works and it's not good enough for you to accept on good faith.

None of that matters in regard to game's biggest flaw, the voice-acting is almost uniformally awful. All the characters are either Irish or Scottish or retarded or just sounds like jerks. The only halfway-decent voice acting is with General Scales and Krystal, and I have spot for that cause she says General like how Dee-Jay said General in the Street Fighter movie. And then there's Star Fox itself. Fox sounds like a whiny brat even though every so often he has some good moments. Peppy now sounds like he should be chasing punk kids off his space lawn. Slippy is even MORE annoying than he was on Starfox 64, which is shocking cause he doesn't fly with you so he never begs for you to get guys off of him.

So are there anything good about this. Well the graphics are bright, colorful and pretty. It does have a little problem with fur, it sticks out like selective static cling. Then there's Fox's teeth, all of them are so pointy it makes him look demonic, especially when he does his "Item found" animation. And like I said about the gameplay, it is pretty fun even though it's highly derivative. The puzzles successfully ride the line between being too easy and being too hard for a nice middle ground.

So with all the flaws in the game, there is some entertainment to be found. It's pretty to look at and there is a So Bad It's Good quality to it. You do want to know what ridiculous voice the next dinosaur is going to use and what illogical turn will the story go next. So this isn't really a bad game, it's just not a good Starfox game.

6/10